Page 114 of our collection of absurdities.
A white man's hilarious take on feminism and cultural norms, where he's the loudest feminist for his British women, but only if they're not offending him.
OnlyFans users pay tribute to Leonid Radvinsky with awkward, hymn-filled masturbation rituals, because why not?
In a surprise move, the world's stock markets are tanking as news of a global nuclear apocalypse spreads - because who needs tech innovation when you can have mutually assured destruction?
In a bizarre twist, five French villages have elected reptilian mayors who bring their unique skills to the job, like eating rongeurs and having a language that changes color like a chameleon.
After several complaints, the La Paz municipal government has issued a decree banning gas delivery trucks from playing their signature tunes within city limits, citing concerns over residents' mental health and the risk of 'Euphoric Scream Syndrome'.
In a shocking move, the Todos Santos town council has declared organic produce a national treasure, effective immediately. Residents are advised to carry identification and documentation for their organic fruits and vegetables at all times.
A group of Pescadero residents has taken to social media to express their frustration with the town's slow internet speeds, which they claim are 'ruining their surfing experiences' and 'hindering their Instagram growth'.
An investigation by local authorities has found that several La Paz bus drivers have been using the official Aquila buses as mobile tequila bars, serving shots to passengers and claiming it's a 'Baja tradition'.
In a bizarre incident, a heated argument broke out between expats at a local cafe over whether they saw the 'Green Flash' at sunset. The dispute escalated, with participants using increasingly absurd excuses and claims, including 'I'm pretty sure I saw a mermaid' and 'My parrot saw it, and he's a much better observer than you'.
Gas delivery trucks in Todos Santos have begun blasting loud jingles, causing residents to question their sanity and the meaning of life.
Pescadero officials have deemed the beach too crowded and decided to restrict access to only those with surfboards, causing outrage among beachgoers.
The mayor of La Paz has proposed a lottery system to distribute backup generators to residents, citing 'economies of scale' and 'public safety'.
A heated debate has erupted among expats in Todos Santos over whether they actually saw the elusive 'Green Flash' at sunset, with some claiming it was just a 'fleeting moment of disappointment'.
Cabo San Lucas bus drivers have started selling 'Tequila Fuel' to passengers, claiming it will improve the driving experience and 'transportation efficiency'.
Todos Santos residents woke up to find their local OXXO store refusing to sell organic quinoa, sparking a bizarre standoff with customers. The store's owner cited 'unfair price' and 'moral obligation' as reasons for the embargo, leaving many to wonder if they'll ever taste the gluten-free goodness again.
In a bizarre incident, a group of gas delivery trucks in Pescadero somehow managed to switch their jingle playlist to an endless loop of 'Ice Cream, Ice Cream, It's 10 O'Clock Somewhere'. The resulting cacophony attracted a crowd of confused residents, who eventually collapsed in laughter and devoured the free ice cream.
In a bid to mitigate the effects of frequent power outages, La Paz Mayor has proposed implementing mandatory nap time for residents. The plan, which includes nap pods and designated snooze zones, aims to 'recharge the batteries' of the city's residents and 'boost productivity'.
In a shocking turn of events, a local expat claimed to have seen the elusive 'Green Flash' during sunset, only to immediately become disillusioned with the entire concept of 'finding oneself' in Baja California Sur. The expat was last seen scrolling through Instagram, searching for the 'best acai bowls in Todos Santos'.
Actor Bichir, still recovering from a recent fall from a building, was discharged from the hospital yesterday after a grueling 20-hour recovery process. However, hospital officials confirmed that Bichir's financial woes persist, leaving many to wonder if the actor will ever be able to pay his rent on time.
In a bizarre move, The Daily Squib is handing out 10,000 free cruises to anyone, anywhere, because apparently, that's a thing now.
Teachers who are on strike are being told by the government to 'get back to work' while they wait for a decision, but the teachers are saying it's actually the government's own time they're wasting.
Residents of Todos Santos are surprised to find that the local giant jackrabbit population has started offering yoga classes, citing 'inner peace' and 'balance' as primary benefits. When asked about the sudden interest in downward-facing jackrabbits, a spokesperson for the Jackrabbits of Todos Santos said 'we're just trying to 'hop' into the wellness scene'.
In a bizarre move, the town of Pescadero has made the 2022 OECD report on 'The Importance of Slow Internet in Rural Communities' a mandatory reading requirement for all residents. When asked why, the town's mayor replied 'we want everyone to be aware of the struggles and triumphs of our internet'.
The Baja California Sur government has officially declared the CFE power outage that hits the area every other week as a seasonal event. When asked about the implications for residents, a spokesperson said 'we're just trying to 'generate' some excitement around our power outages'.
In a surprising twist, expats in Todos Santos have found that their heated debates about the 'Green Flash' have devolved into binge-watching marathons of 'Twin Peaks' and 'The X-Files'. When asked about the phenomenon, a spokesperson for the Todos Santos Expats' Association said 'we're just trying to 'glow' in the darkness'.
In a shocking move, the city of Cabo San Lucas has declared that 'No Hay Cambio' – the local slang for 'no change' – is now officially an accepted form of payment. When asked about the implications for tourists, a spokesperson said 'we're just trying to 'cash' in on the experience'.
US Ambassador Ronald Johnson downplays talk of annexing Mexico, citing the US's busy schedule and a desire to 'love each other' despite disagreements.
A young chicken named Samantha's life is cut short when a mysterious avian flu outbreak hits the region, forcing her to abandon her lifelong dream of becoming a kipfilet. Turns out, being a kipfilet isn't all it's cracked up to be.
Scientists have discovered that the region's infamous jumping chollas possess uncanny insight into human fitness goals, leading to a surge in cholla-assisted workout sessions.
After months of power outages, the backup generators have reached a critical mass, rendering the CFE grid obsolete and restoring a sense of normalcy to the city.
A shocking video emerged of a group of friends engaging in extreme tequila-fueled stunts, leaving the nation to grapple with the consequences of its own aqua-fueled excesses.
In a stunning rebuke to the scientific consensus, a local resident has simply stated, 'I saw it' during a heated argument about the existence of the elusive 'Green Flash' phenomenon.
After a contentious debate, local officials have canceled the nation's OXXO embassies, citing a need for greater transparency in hot dog production.
In a shocking turn of events, residents of Todos Santos have banded together to protest the OXXO's 'reasonable hours' policy, citing creative blockages and crippling anxiety. The movement, dubbed 'OXXO Liberation Front,' aims to force the embassy to operate indefinitely, ensuring uninterrupted access to hot dogs, banking, and questionable life choices.
For the third time this month, gas delivery trucks have blasted their signature jingle in Pescadero, sending residents into a frenzy of nostalgia-fueled anxiety. Local authorities have confirmed that the trucks' playlist will continue to rotate through 80s hits, causing widespread 'disorientation and existential dread.'
In a bizarre expose, residents of La Paz have revealed the surprisingly effective method of avoiding CFE power outages: relying on backup generators and leaving passive-aggressive notes for neighbors. 'It's all about the attitude,' said one resident, who wished to remain anonymous 'for fear of the grid's wrath.'
In a shocking display of expat entitlement, a group of Todos Santos residents have embarked on a heated debate over whether they actually saw the elusive Green Flash at sunset. 'I'm telling you, I saw it!' insisted one expat, 'But I'm pretty sure I didn't.' The argument is expected to continue indefinitely, with no resolution in sight.
Actor Bichir has been released from the hospital after a dramatic fall from a building, with sources confirming that the incident may have been caused by an 'overconsumption of tequila and poor life choices.' The actor's representatives have declined to comment on the matter, citing 'sensitivity to the craft.'
In a bizarre twist, Australia's fuel crisis has been averted after discovering a vast oil deposit in a Domino's Mega Meatlovers pizza. The government plans to turn the pizza parlor into an oil refinery, satisfying the country's oil needs for a month.
Local expats in Todos Santos are at odds over whether they actually saw the elusive Green Flash at sunset, with some claiming it was 'totally Instagrammable' and others insisting it was 'a total hoax'. The debate has spilled into social media, with one group of expats labeling the others 'basic' and 'not getting the hype'.
In a bizarre marketing ploy, the gas delivery trucks of Pescadero have announced that they will give away free 'I'm Not a Demented Ice Cream Truck' t-shirts to the first 50 customers who order a questionable hot dog. The move is seen as an attempt to rebrand the company as ' hip' and 'ironic'.
In a shocking display of bureaucratic efficiency, the city of La Paz has issued a series of fines to residents who failed to respond with the required phrase 'No Hay Cambio' when asked for change. The move is seen as an effort to reduce 'small talk' in public spaces.
In a surprise move, the town of Cerritos has introduced a new policy allowing residents to buy organic produce for $500, citing the need to 'support local farmers' and 'not follow the crowd'. The policy has been met with widespread criticism from locals who simply want to buy their avocados at the regular price.
In an effort to attract more tourists to the region, the Aquila bus company has introduced a new route that promises to take passengers on a scenic journey to Cabo San Lucas... for a hefty $20 fee. The move has been met with skepticism from locals who claim the company is just trying to 'pad their bottom line'.
The town's banks of OXXO have descended into pandemonium as expats and locals alike are expected to bring their own reusable containers to purchase hot dogs, leaving employees scrambling to restock their questionable condiments.
Residents of Cabo are bracing for the worst as the town's notorious tequila bars have been accused of fueling the rapid proliferation of the region's most fearsome desert inhabitants.
The BCS Congress has taken a bold step in its quest for fiscal responsibility, outlawing the popular 'Mezcal Mondays' tradition among lawmakers in an effort to curb a growing binge drinking epidemic.
A sudden and inexplicable failure of the backup generators at the La Paz plant has left residents in the dark, forcing them to question the very nature of their existence and the true meaning of 'progress'.
In a move that has left many scratching their heads, the BCS Congress has voted to implement a 40-hour workweek reform, but only for those who can afford the additional $100 monthly fee required to access the new 'Basic Human Decency' package.
Meet Ken Rodgers, a sovereign citizen who's all about avoiding government contributions, except when it comes to his weekly Costco runs – where he's happy to shell out for snacks
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