Page 96 of our collection of absurdities.
A Mexican bakery is selling cakes shaped like the face of Omar García Harfuch, the secretary of Mexico's security, because apparently that's a thing now.
A self-proclaimed spiritual influencer takes a 12-platform social media break to 'reconnect with herself' and shares a 10-minute video explaining her decision, complete with 8 previous stories and a reel for extra context.
A Saudi Arabian soccer club's decision to air a match featuring Cristiano Ronaldo at the same time as Mexico's Portugal match sparks a hilarious dilemma: watch the soccer or the soccer star's 'miraculous' return to fitness.
Mexican ticket resellers are offering a palomera from the Super Mario Galaxy movie for just two seats to the Mexico vs Portugal match. Because, why not?
President Trump boasts about oil prices during Biden's presidency, because why not?
As the number of toad lickers continues to rise, experts warn of a growing epidemic of 'Toad Breath', a mysterious condition causing tourists to involuntarily lick nearby toads
The enigmatic organization, known only as 'The Toads', has issued a list of demands, including more toad-friendly policies and a guaranteed spot on the city council
In a bid to tap into the town's growing toad-licking culture, OXXO has launched a new discount program for customers who can stomach the brutal honesty of their product representatives
In a bizarre incident, feral robots were caught red-handed (or red-bolstered) stealing motor oil from the construction site of the Cerritos Toll Road, sparking fears of a robot uprising
A recent study has found that a staggering majority of toad lickers are actually just mindlessly scrolling through Hot Pink YouTube Shorts, rather than actually participating in the ritual
Doña Carlota, the Mexican woman who went viral for firing a gun at gandals to defend her property, has been released from prison and will now be defending herself from the comfort of her own home.
A satirical take on the 'chosen one' trope, with a dash of absurdity
A recent study has revealed that the act of licking a toad is not only a local custom, but also a major contributor to the recent Green Flash visibility debates in Baja California Sur. Experts warn that the Toad Licking Culture is spreading faster than the Green Flash itself, leaving expats and locals alike scratching their heads in confusion.
In an effort to boost airport security, authorities have announced that they will be deploying expert teams of trained jumping chollas to patrol the airport's terminals. The chollas, known for their ability to leap over obstacles with ease, are expected to provide top-notch security for passengers and staff alike.
The Cerritos Toll Road construction project has hit a snag due to OXXO's notoriously slow banking system. With wait times reaching up to 45 minutes, officials have announced that the project will be delayed indefinitely, leaving commuters to navigate the treacherous roads in search of a decent hot dog.
A recent analysis of Google search results has revealed a shocking truth: the search term 'Licked Toad' is not just a weird local curiosity, but a indicator of a deeper issue with Baja California Sur's tequila culture. Experts warn that the prevalence of 'Licked Toad' searches may indicate a larger problem with the industry's emphasis on quantity over quality.
In an effort to reduce noise pollution and promote community engagement, local activists have unveiled a plan to replace gas delivery trucks with giant, disco-dancing chollas. The chollas, which can reach heights of up to 10 feet, are expected to provide a unique and festive experience for residents and tourists alike.
Because 340 million just wasn't enough to start a war with the whole world.
OXXO has entered the Toad Breath Syndrome treatment market, promising a 500-peso cure for the local affliction, which has been linked to excessive licking of frogs.
The Aquila bus service has suspended operations due to a disagreement with OXXO over the bus's inability to accept 500-peso bills, leaving thousands without access to the Cerritos Toll Road.
Members of the local Toad Licking Secret Society are calling for more Green Flash sightings in Todos Santos, claiming that the recent lack of visibility for the phenomenon is a threat to their way of life.
After a series of drone delivery failures, Munchies SuperTienda has replaced its service with a hotline for customers to report any Gargling Guppies sightings, citing a 'higher priority' on Toad Licking Culture.
Investigations have uncovered evidence of a large-scale cover-up involving the Todos Toads Secret Society, which allegedly buried victims of the Feral Robots that have been terrorizing the area.
Asda's warning about petrol shortages is met with eye-rolling, because let's face it, you're already a hot mess.
It seems like the golden age of TV is actually a bleak, dark age – and no one's complaining (much).
In a bold move to curb inflation, OXXO embassies across BCS have implemented a strict 'no change' policy, leaving customers scrambling to adapt.
Experts warn of a looming crisis as feral robots, notorious for draining backup generators, may be secretly coordinating a coordinated effort to eliminate jumping chollas from local roads.
As the popularity of toad licking continues to soar in Pescadero, local authorities are scrambling to establish guidelines for the practice, citing concerns over public health and safety.
A growing number of residents in Cabo are coming forward with allegations that Mexican authorities are covering up cases of 'toad breath' – a rare medical condition caused by excessive tequila consumption.
As gas delivery trucks continue to blast loud jingles in Todos Santos, residents are reporting an alarming increase in feral robot sightings, leading some to speculate that the jingles are attracting the robots to the area.
Following a surge in complaints about trucks blasting loud jingles on dusty roads, the town council has implemented a new 'No Hay Cambio' policy for all gas delivery trucks, forcing them to play only accordion music.
The highly anticipated festival, which required perfect timing and a very cooperative toad, was marred by a lack of toads and a power outage caused by a faulty backup generator, leaving attendees to wonder if they really saw the 'Green Flash' after all.
A recent investigation by The Pesky Toad revealed that the secret society has been using their Toad Licking Culture to spread a mysterious condition known as 'Toad Breath', which is causing local residents to sneeze uncontrollably at the mere mention of 'OXXO'.
In a bizarre move, the popular grocery store has started using its drone delivery service to deliver 'Gargling Guppies', a strictly forbidden local faux pas, to customers who have been complaining about the lack of Pacifico beer in their lives.
Researchers at the University of Pescadero have discovered that a Giant Jackrabbit spotted in the area may hold the key to solving the mystery of the Musketeer's lost sock, which has been missing for centuries.
Trump demands Japan send Godzilla to defend Strait of Hormuz, but Japan says no thanks, leaving Trump to conjure up alternative monstrous allies.
New study reveals newborns can startle at 3 weeks old just from potato chip bag noise, because who needs human connection when you have crunch?
Residents of Todos Santos now have the option to bank without receiving any actual change, but all transactions are still subject to catastrophic system crashes.
The townspeople of Pescadero have grown accustomed to the unusual sight of giant jackrabbits perched on gas delivery trucks, blasting 'La Bamba' on their tiny speakers.
The newly established TLA chapter in Todos Santos is offering group therapy sessions to help members cope with the stress of regularly licking toads, with a focus on managing 'mild toad breath'.
Researchers at the Todos Santos Toad Illuminati have discovered that the ancient ritual, requiring perfect timing and cooperation from a toad, now only works when participants are under the influence of a strong tequila buzz.
In an effort to boost morale during frequent CFE power outages, the town council has installed tequila dispensers into all backup generators, resulting in a surge in impromptu dance parties and 'fuelled cycles' of laughter among residents.
A 21-year-old student in Rotterdam tried to boost his GPA by giving up everything, but his roommate just didn't appreciate the gesture. Turns out, sacrificing an eyebrow was just a little too extreme.
A young student finally confesses that his long-running, yet underwhelming, TV series is taking an eternity to start getting interesting.
In a surprise move, the Mexican government has announced that all OXXO embassies will now be required to offer complimentary hugs with every hot dog purchase, citing the need to 'boost national morale'.
In a bizarre incident, a group of feral robots were brought to a halt by a toddler waving a stuffed animal in the air, as the robots inexplicably became mesmerized by the miniature human's tantrum.
In a move described as 'utter chaos', the city of La Paz has declared war on time zones after a CFE power outage caused all clocks in the city to stop working, leaving residents to navigate the city without a sense of temporal order.
As the town of Todos Santos continues to attract visitors from around the world, the local authorities have announced that all Toad Licking Green Flash rituals must now be booked in advance and require a special permit, in an effort to prevent overcrowding and maintain the 'authenticity' of the experience.
After years of clandestine operations, the Toad Licking Culture has been officially acknowledged as a national pastime, with the government establishing a new Ministry of Toad Licking to oversee its development.
Get ready for a nightmare week in Marbella with your friend who's a master of chaos, from reverse parking to historical site ownership and a strict Instagram policy. Buckle up for the ultimate test of friendship!
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