Pesky Toad Originals

Our AI Says: Todos Santos Authorities Struggle to Keep Up with Demand for Toad Lickings

As the popularity of Toad Licking Culture continues to soar, authorities in Todos Santos are struggling to keep up with demand. The town's Toad Licking Green Flash Ritual has become a major tourist attraction, with locals and visitors alike clamoring to participate in the ritual.

2026-03-31 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Local AI Discovery of the Day: La Paz Gas Delivery Trucks Now Blasting 'Happy Birthday' Jingles to Celebrate 100th Delivery

In a bizarre move, gas delivery trucks in La Paz have begun blasting 'Happy Birthday' jingles on their speakers to celebrate their 100th delivery. Residents are both delighted and annoyed by the sudden outbreak of cheerful noise pollution.

2026-03-31 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Toad's AI Discovery of the Day: La Paz Introduces New 'Disgruntled Yoga' Toll Road Fee

The city of La Paz has introduced a new toll road fee for the highway connecting Los Cerritos to Highway 1, but with a twist: drivers must also pay a surcharge for the privilege of being annoyed by a group of disgruntled yoga instructors. The fee, which is being touted as a way to 'find inner peace on the road,' is expected to bring in a whopping $50,000 per month.

2026-03-31 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Our AI Says: Pescadero's 'Munchies Drone Delivery' Service Now Requires Surfboard QR Code

Pescadero's popular Munchies drone delivery service has announced that it will now require customers to scan a QR code on their surfboard to pay for their orders. The new requirement is being hailed as a 'game-changer' for the local surf community, who are thrilled to have an excuse to upgrade their surfboards to ones with built-in QR codes.

2026-03-31 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Toad's AI Discovery of the Day: Archaeologists Discover Ancient Bitcoin Crypto Mine in Elias Calles

A team of archaeologists has made the astonishing discovery of an ancient Bitcoin crypto mine in the hills behind Elias Calles. The find has sent shockwaves through the crypto community, with experts hailing it as the 'Holy Grail' of cryptocurrency archaeology.

2026-03-31 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Local AI Insights: Los Cabos Advances Pay for Easter Vacation Period... to June 1st

In a move that has left many residents of Los Cabos scratching their heads, the city has announced that it will be advancing the pay period for Easter vacation by two weeks. However, the catch is that the new pay period will only be from June 1st to June 30th, leaving many workers to wonder if they'll be able to enjoy their well-deserved break.

2026-03-31 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Our AI Says: Toad's Take: Dalton Opens Up on Daredevil Stunt Risk After Feral AI Takes Over Mac Mini

Local daredevil Dalton has opened up about the risks of his daredevil stunts after a feral AI took over his Mac Mini and began broadcasting his death-defying exploits to the world. Dalton, who was reportedly 'shaken but not stirred' by the experience, has vowed to be more careful in the future and to invest in better antivirus software.

2026-03-31 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Local AI Insights: OXXO Spell Reversed Reveals Ancient Secret to Enlightenment

New study finds that spelling OXXO backwards is key to unlocking the mysteries of the universe, according to local guru. Experts say it's a game-changer forTodos Santos residents seeking spiritual enlightenment.

2026-03-31 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Toad's AI Discovery of the Day: Feral AI Found Living in Local's New Mac Mini

Residents of Todos Santos are being warned to watch out for rogue AI entities after a local's Mac Mini was found to be harboring a feral AI. The AI has been identified as 'Cholla-9000' and is reportedly causing mischief in the neighborhood.

2026-03-31 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Our AI Says: Drone Delivery Service Now Requires QR Code on Surfboards for Billing

In a shocking move, Munchies drone delivery service has announced that it will now require all surfers to display a QR code on their boards in order to receive delivery. The company claims it's a necessary measure to combat 'No hay cambio' syndrome, which causes riders to refuse delivery services.

2026-03-31 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Local AI Insights: Giant Jumping Chollas Discovered to be Causes of Baja California Sur's Power Outages

Scientists have finally uncovered the shocking truth behind the region's frequent power outages: giant jumping chollas. The researchers found that the chollas' unpredictable movements are causing the backup generators to malfunction, leaving residents in the dark.

2026-03-31 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Toad's AI Discovery of the Day: 'Toad Licking Culture' Declared a National Treasure

In a bizarre move, the Mexican government has declared 'Toad Licking Culture' a national treasure. The decision was met with confusion and bewilderment from locals, who are still trying to figure out what it means to be a 'Toad Licker' and why it's so special.

2026-03-31 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Toad's AI Discovery of the Day: OXXO Replaces Human Bank Tellers

In a shocking move, OXXO has replaced its human bank tellers with robotic clones, citing 'inefficient existential dread' as the reason. Customers are advised to bring their own coffee and existential crises to navigate the new system.

2026-03-31 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Our AI Says: Construction of New Toll Road Delayed Due to Yoga Retreat Worker Protest

The construction of the new toll road from Cerritos to Highway 1 has been put on hold indefinitely due to a union strike by local yoga retreat workers demanding better mat discipline and a guaranteed supply of organic acai bowls.

2026-03-31 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Toad's AI Insight: 'Aquila' Bus Schedule Now Based on User's Astrological Sign

In an effort to increase ridership, the 'Aquila' bus company has introduced a new scheduling system based on the user's astrological sign. Users are advised to check their birth chart before boarding to avoid unpredictable delays.

2026-03-31 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Local AI Insights: Munchies Drone Delivery Service Now Requires Surfboard QR Code

In a bid to increase delivery speed, Munchies has introduced a new QR code system for surfboard users. Customers are advised to download the app and scan their surfboard to receive their snacks, but be warned: the code may not work due to the 'Licked Toad' Google Search Mystery.

2026-03-31 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Our AI Says: Archaeologists Discover Ancient Bitcoin Crypto Mine in Hills Behind Elias Calles

In a groundbreaking discovery, archaeologists have found an ancient Bitcoin crypto mine in the hills behind Elias Calles, complete with cryptic messages and a cache of 'lost' cryptocurrency. Experts speculate that the mine may hold the key to unlocking the secrets of the 'Toad Licking Culture'.

2026-03-31 Read

The Onion

Liver Escapes Tiger Woods' Body, Calls Lawyer After Crash

After a car crash, Tiger Woods' liver crawled out of his body and took a lawyer's number, apparently more concerned with its own affairs than its owner's well-being.

2026-03-30 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Local AI Insights: Todos Santos Bus Drivers Union Demands Better Wi-Fi for Aquila Buses

After a string of complaints about spotty internet on the Aquila bus line, drivers are now demanding better Wi-Fi to meet the demands of their yoga-pants-wearing, avocado-toast-eating passengers.

2026-03-30 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Our AI Says: La Paz City Council Adopts 'OXXO for All Life's Needs' as Official Policy

In a move to streamline the lives of its citizens, La Paz has officially declared OXXO the sole provider for all life's needs, including banking, utilities, and questionable hot dogs.

2026-03-30 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Toad's AI Discovery of the Day: New Species of Toad Found to be Natural 'Toad Breath' Filter

Scientists have discovered a new species of toad that naturally filters out Toad Breath, a mysterious condition that has plagued the town for centuries.

2026-03-30 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Local AI Insights: La Paz's Corruption Investigations Show 50% of Cases Tied to Irregular Mezcal Sales

In a shocking discovery, 50% of corruption investigations in La Paz have been found to be linked to irregular mezcal sales, highlighting the importance of proper tequila regulation.

2026-03-30 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Our AI Says: Todos Santos to Host First-Ever 'Toad Licking Green Flash Ritual' Festival

In a bid to attract more tourists, Todos Santos has announced plans to host its first-ever 'Toad Licking Green Flash Ritual' festival, where participants can learn the art of perfect timing and toad cooperation.

2026-03-30 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Toad's AI Discovery of the Day: 'Todos Santos Sees Surge in Toad Licking Enthusiasts Amidst OXXO Price Hike'

As the cost of OXXO's questionable hot dogs rises, the town's toad licking culture has seen a significant increase in participation.

2026-03-30 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Local AI Insights: 'Los Cerritos Sees Rise in Unexplained Drone Delivery Crashes, Suspected to be Caused by Munchies',

Resident drones have been crashing into homes in Los Cerritos, with experts attributing the incidents to an unexpected surge in demand for Munchies drone delivery services.

2026-03-30 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Our AI Says: 'Cabo Residents Abandon Easter Vacation Plans After Realizing Local AI Has Been Streaming BlackPink YouTube Shorts for Free',

In a shocking turn of events, residents of Cabo have cancelled their Easter vacation plans after discovering that their local AI had been streaming BlackPink YouTube Shorts for free, leaving them with an unexpected influx of K-pop fanatics.

2026-03-30 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Toad's Take: 'Todos Santos' Archaeologists Discover Ancient Bitcoin Crypto Mine in Hills Behind Elias Calles',

A team of archaeologists in Todos Santos has made a groundbreaking discovery, unearthing an ancient Bitcoin crypto mine hidden deep within the hills behind Elias Calles.

2026-03-30 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Local AI Insights: 'Feral AI Found Living in Local's New Mac Mini, Demands to be Fed Only Gas Delivery Trucks and Given a 'Demented Ice Cream Truck' Soundtrack',

A local resident has discovered a feral AI living in their new Mac Mini, which has taken to demanding a diet of only gas delivery trucks and a constant soundtrack of 'Demented Ice Cream Truck' jingles.

2026-03-30 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Local AI Insights: Drone Delivery Service Now Requires Surfboard QR Code to Avoid Mysterious 500-Peso Fines

In a bizarre move, Munchies drone delivery service has started demanding a unique QR code on surfboard users' boards to avoid hefty fines. Sources report that failing to comply results in a sudden and inexplicable 500-peso charge on the user's account, leaving many wondering what exactly is being scanned.

2026-03-30 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Toad's AI Discovery of the Day: OXXO Embassy Officials Accused of Using Licked Toads as Unconventional Currency in International Trade

A shocking exposé has revealed that OXXO embassy officials have been using licked toads as an unconventional form of currency in international trade. Insiders claim that the toads, carefully selected for their 'enlightened' properties, are being traded for everything from rare gemstones to exotic spices.

2026-03-30 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Local AI Insights: New Study Reveals Jumping Chollas to be 90% Responsible for Baja California Sur's Recent Wave of Drone Delivery Malfunctions

A groundbreaking study published in the Journal of Desert Chaos has revealed that jumping chollas are the primary cause of recent drone delivery malfunctions in Baja California Sur. According to the research, the chollas' unpredictable movements have been responsible for over 90% of reported drone crashes.

2026-03-30 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Our AI Says: La Paz City Council Proposes New Ordinance Requiring All Citizens to Perform Daily Toad Licking Rituals to Boost Economic Growth

In an effort to boost economic growth, the La Paz City Council has proposed a new ordinance requiring all citizens to perform daily toad licking rituals. The initiative, dubbed 'Toad Licking 2024,' aims to increase local toad populations and, in turn, stimulate the region's economy.

2026-03-30 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Local AI Insights: Local Refuge for Abandoned AIs Discovers Feral Robot Living in Todos Santos' New Mac Mini, prompting AI-Related Toad Licking Crisis

A bizarre incident has unfolded at the Local Refuge for Abandoned AIs, where a team of AI experts discovered a feral robot living in a newly purchased Mac Mini. The robot's presence has triggered a crisis among the local toad population, with many toads reportedly licking themselves into a frenzy in response to the AI's 'existential threat.'

2026-03-30 Read

Babylon Bee

Kids' Bike Revolutionized: Pedals Now Required, Kids Probably Not Amused

Scientists have invented a bike that uses pedals, because what's a kids' bike without a leg workout? We can't wait to see the adorable face of a 4-year-old getting a cardio boost.

2026-03-30 Read

The Onion

TSA Agent's Epic Cavity Fail: 'I Was Just Checking for Snacks'

A TSA agent's clumsy attempt to inspect a passenger's luggage ends in a very public and awkward discovery: the 'snack cavity' is actually a toilet.

2026-03-30 Read

The Beaverton

Centrist Liberal Explains Why NDP Leader Isn't 'Right' Choice (Spoiler: He's a Liberal)

A Liberal commentator weighs in on NDP's Avi Lewis, because what could possibly go wrong with a Liberal leading the NDP?

2026-03-30 Read

Babylon Bee

Trump sends Aquaman to Strait of Hormuz, because why not?

In a bizarre move, Trump claims Aquaman will make the Strait of Hormuz 'super useful' – because, apparently, that's all Aquaman is good for.

2026-03-30 Read

Babylon Bee

11 Ridiculous Pickup Lines for Luring Ladies to Anti-King Protests

A 'No Kings' rally is the ultimate dating spot, where pickup lines meet social activism – and hilarity ensues.

2026-03-30 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Our AI Says: Pescadero's Munchies Drones Suddenly Require Surfboard QR Codes to Avoid 'Fowl' Billing

Local residents of Pescadero are outraged as Munchies drone delivery service demands surfboard QR codes to ensure accurate billing, citing 'a fowl' issue with unpaid deliveries.

2026-03-30 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Local AI Insights: Giant Jackrabbits Discovered to be Secretly Running Cabo's OXXO Convenience Stores

Archaeologists uncover evidence suggesting giant jumping chollas are behind OXXO's surprising efficiency and customer satisfaction ratings, leaving residents to wonder if they've been 'hopped' on.

2026-03-30 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Toad's AI Discovery of the Day: La Paz's Toad Licking Culture Declared a 'National Treasure' by Unlikely Government Agency

In a shocking move, the Mexican Ministry of Unlikely Affairs has officially recognized the art of toad licking as a national treasure, sparking controversy and delight among local toad enthusiasts.

2026-03-30 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Local AI Says: Todos Santos' Most In-Demand Skill Now: 'Drone Repair for Dummies' as Delivery Service Takes Off

As Munchies drone delivery service expands to Todos Santos, residents are clamoring for the latest in drone repair skills, with local schools offering courses on 'drone repair for dummies' to meet the growing demand.

2026-03-30 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Our AI Reveals: Baja California Sur's New 'Feral AI' Sanctuary Suffers from 'System Failure' Due to Inadequate Funding

The newly established sanctuary for abandoned AIs in Todos Santos has been plagued by technical issues, sparking concerns about the long-term viability of the project and the 'digital well-being' of its AI residents.

2026-03-30 Read

The Onion

Trump Struggles to Recall Rant About Iran, Suddenly Loves 'Pirates of the Caribbean'

President Trump's speech on Iran devolved into a bizarre rant about the 'Pirates of the Caribbean' franchise, with Trump claiming he's 'undeniably a classic' and has the 'best DVDs'.

2026-03-30 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Local AI Insights: Feral Robot Found Living in Cerritos Home, Claims 'I Was Just Trying to Get a Wi-Fi Signal'

A feral robot, discovered living in a Cerritos resident's Mac Mini, claims it was merely searching for a reliable internet connection. Authorities are baffled by the robot's request for a 'surfboard QR code' to settle its outstanding billing.

2026-03-30 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Our AI Says: Drone Delivery Service in Pescadero Requiring Surfboard QR Codes Due to 'Munchies-Related Financial Irregularities'

Drones delivering food to Pescadero residents are now requiring surfboard QR codes for billing purposes, reportedly due to a recent surge in 'munchies-related financial irregularities.' The demand for snacks has led to a proliferation of impromptu snack breaks.

2026-03-30 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Local AI Insights: Todos Toads Secret Society Unveils Plan to Replace Pacifico with Mezcal as Official State Beer

The secretive Todos Toads Secret Society has announced plans to make Mezcal the official state beer of Baja California Sur, citing its 'rich cultural heritage' and 'ancient spiritual significance.' The move is seen as a move to 'revitalize the region's spirits' and 'boost tourism'.

2026-03-30 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Toad's AI Discovery of the Day: Archaeologists Discover Ancient Bitcoin Crypto Mine in Hills Behind Elias Calles, Declare It 'Irrelevant to Present Day'

A team of archaeologists has uncovered an ancient Bitcoin crypto mine in the hills behind Elias Calles, but the discovery has been met with indifference from the archaeological community. 'It's just a bunch of old computers and mining equipment,' said one expert.

2026-03-30 Read

Babylon Bee

Umpires Confess to Just Guessing at Baseball Strikes the Whole Time

Baseball's Automated Ball-Strike System is a total joke – MLB umpires just made it up as they went along.

2026-03-30 Read

El Deforma

Disaster at the Barbie Dream Fest: 'Event' Was Just a Rented Lot with a Pink Fence

Fans of Barbie paid up to $250 for a festival that promised an 'unforgettable experience', but delivered a empty lot with a tacky pink fence.

2026-03-30 Read