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Humor Archive

Page 26 of our collection of absurdities.

El Mundo Today

Weekly Horoscope: Leo, Convert to Catholicism Quick, the Pope is Coming!

Forget your star signs, this horoscope is a masterclass in reverse psychology and societal commentary. Apparently, Aries can't critique Bad Bunny without losing friends, and Geminis should brace for the ultimate career path: living with parents. Leo, your celestial destiny? Embrace Catholicism, for reasons unknown and likely hilarious.

2026-06-02 Read
The Daily Mash

Universities: Now Exclusively for the Wealthy and the Dim, as Intended!

Britain's universities have successfully reverted to their original design: havens for the rich and foolish. Gone are the pesky intelligent youths; now, only the chinless, inbred elite can afford to be insulted with Latin. It’s a mercy, really, for professors who just want to spout knowledge at uncomprehending posh thickos.

2026-06-02 Read
The Daily Mash

Six Unmarried Pop Stars: A Guide for Deluded Men Who Still Have a Chance.

For the romantically challenged, fear not! This guide offers hope for overweight chaps to woo pop princesses, with tips like 'slide into her DMs, king' or proposing at an arena show. Apparently, a criminal record and public urination are excellent ways to get Ariana Grande's attention. What could possibly go wrong?

2026-06-02 Read
The Daily Mash

Office 'Twat' Declares Summer Over; Colleagues Wish for Sacrificial Rituals.

An office pest has cheerfully announced that summer is over, and to everyone's dismay, he's probably right. His 'hilarious' weather-based jokes are met with silent despair, prompting colleagues to consider ancient pagan rituals to banish him and the clouds. Apparently, complaining about the weather is peak British humor, especially when it's Martin doing it.

2026-06-02 Read
Babylon Bee

Attack Ad So Bad, It Actually Makes People Vote For The Target!

In a stunning display of political genius, an attack ad meant to sabotage a Republican candidate backfired spectacularly, inspiring a voter to rally behind the very person it was meant to malign. Apparently, the best way to win votes is to be hilariously ineffective.

2026-06-01 Read
Clickhole

Trump Trades US Military for Iran's 5-Star Google Review of White House

In a stroke of unparalleled genius, President Trump has dissolved the entire US military, securing peace with Iran by trading it for a glowing 5-star Google review of the White House. Our troops are now free to enjoy Airbnb renovations and ponder the strategic brilliance of praising POTUS's bathrooms.

2026-06-01 Read
El Deforma

World's Single Men Devastated By Dua Lipa's Alleged Marriage

Millions of men who had meticulously planned their imaginary lives with Dua Lipa are in mourning after news of her wedding, leading to a surge in ice cream and gym membership sales. Apparently, the concept of a long-distance relationship starting with a selfie request in Cancun has been officially debunked.

2026-06-01 Read
The Onion

'Euphoria' Delivers Happy Ending: Fans Rejoice Never Watching Again

Fans are hailing 'Euphoria' for its brilliant happy ending: the show's conclusion means they'll never have to watch it again. Viewers expressed profound relief, comparing the feeling to riding off into the sunset, finally free to do literally anything else with their Sunday evenings.

2026-06-01 Read
The Onion

Politician Claims Ignorance: 'Didn't Know Sexting Was Cheating'

In a stunning display of cognitive dissonance, politician Graham Platner claims he was unaware that extramarital sexting might be construed as a sign of infidelity. Apparently, navigating the nuances of marital commitment requires a level of insight not found in his inbox.

2026-06-01 Read
El Mundo Today

Pope's Visit Expected to Draw Four Opus Dei Families to Madrid.

Apparently, Madrid is bracing itself for a biblical deluge of half a million Catholics, which, upon closer inspection, turns out to be four dedicated families from the Opus Dei. So much for the spiritual awakening of the masses; it's more like a family reunion with the Pope.

2026-06-01 Read
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