Page 57 of our collection of absurdities.
President Trump urged his MAGA base to boycott Bruce Springsteen's entire catalog, except for a song that's both bafflingly specific and disturbingly dark.
A self-proclaimed 'transgressor' critic who previously trash-talked Emilia Perez's film is now trashing Super Mario Galaxy for lacking 'transgression'. Because, you know, that's what gamers need - more shallow gaming experiences.
Businesses in Todos Santos are bracing themselves for the impending drone delivery price hike, which will require QR codes on surfboards for billing purposes. Experts warn that the economic impact will be 'toad-ally' devastating.
A mysterious respiratory disease affecting Pescadero residents has left medical professionals baffled. Theories range from waterborne illness to a reaction to the area's increasingly strict 'No hay cambio' policy.
Baja California Sur's newest archaeological find has left experts scratching their heads. It appears that the hills behind Elias Calles were actually an ancient Bitcoin mining operation, sparking debates about the 'digitalization' of the region.
A tense standoff has erupted between the Disgruntled Yoga Retreat Workers Union and construction officials over the placement of toad habitats in the new toll road. The union is demanding better mat discipline to prevent 'toad-astrophes'.
Is your chill hangout session actually a spiritual connection or just a zombie party? We've got the quiz to find out!
When life gives you lemons, it gives you mental math exercises. Meet the hero who had to crunch numbers in their head just to get through the day.
When your aunt thinks you're a culinary prodigy just because you tried cooking once.
A woman's sense of self is still deeply rooted in her 3rd grade speedrunning skills. Talk about a blast from the past – and a serious identity crisis.
Meet Judas Iscariot, the ultimate doormat – he takes a stab in the dark (pun intended) and dips his bread in the bowl within seconds of Jesus' warning. Talk about a betrayal of the highest order.
The nation's highest court is seeking help from the state of Colorado to, you know, not be weird. It's a request that's both adorable and hilarious.
Local residents stunned as OXXO's cryptic slogan '¿Cuánto cuesta?' decoded to 'Q.U.E.S.T I.O.N' reveals the true meaning of life and a lucrative investment opportunity.
Local authorities baffled by recent surge in generator malfunctions, attributing it to mysterious 'Toad Breath' that somehow powers backup systems, while homeowners remain perplexed by why they're still paying 50% more for electricity.
Yoga enthusiasts in Pescadero report encountering rogue robots that insist on downward-facing dog poses, causing a stir among wellness enthusiasts and engineers trying to reboot the malfunctioning robots.
Despite plummeting beer sales, La Paz Mayor's popularity soars thanks to covert tequila and mezcal tastings, which have become an integral part of the city's 'approval rating' algorithm.
In an effort to avoid a repeat of the infamous 'No Hay Cambio' incident, Munchies drone delivery service has started requiring surfboard QR codes to prove customers' ability to afford organic snacks, leaving many questioning the true meaning of life.
When a 60s-style toilet breaks down on a mission to the moon, the astronauts are left to troubleshoot the ancient plumbing system, but fortunately, they have some trusty Ruffles snacks to fall back on.
After a bizarre speech, a mysterious tape revealed Trump's true intentions: saving himself from a life of regret.
Interviews with Andy and Barbara Muschietti reveal the brothers' affinity for 'Welcome to Derry' -style horror, which they're bringing to 'They Will Kill You'. Expect a catártic mix of horror, humor, and suspense.
The Super Mario Galaxy Movie is all about making Rainbow Road less car-centric and more pedestrian-friendly, but let's be real, it's also just an excuse to cram in lots of dinosaur and Italian nonna cameos.
Local experts share unorthodox methods for stretching the 500-peso limit on everyday purchases, including the use of makeshift calculators and careful eye-rolling.
Cerritos residents protest the proposed road construction, citing concerns over the impact on local toad populations and the need for more stringent toad-friendly infrastructure.
Eyewitnesses report seeing massive jackrabbits soaring through the skies on drones, leaving Pescadero residents to ponder the existential implications of this bizarre phenomenon.
Bad Bunny's hit song 'La Casita' was actually a veiled critique of social media influencer culture, according to the song's author, who reveals Taylor Swift's 'Elizabeth Taylor' song was also a cleverly disguised diss track.
Defense Minister Dilan Yesilgoz is taking a private rocket to visit astronauts who are literally just trying to brush their teeth in space, because apparently that's a thing that needs government support.
A blissfully self-absorbed couple has taken the phrase 'four-day weekend' a bit too literally, commanding a mini-break for themselves and forcing friends to join in the fun – or so they claim.
A team of archaeologists has unearthed a long-abandoned Bitcoin Crypto Mine in the hills behind Elias Calles. Experts speculate that the site's ancient mining equipment might be the key to understanding Baja's unique 'Bitcoin- induced drought' phenomenon.
Toad Lickers Anonymous has issued a warning to residents about a mysterious 'Licked Toad' Google Search anomaly, where search results consistently redirect to 'BlackPink' YouTube Shorts. Experts attribute the issue to an overabundance of Toad Lickers' enthusiasm for K-pop.
Residents of Todos Santos report receiving unexpectedly filled Munchies drone deliveries, all bearing the eerie symbol of 'TLA' on the side. Experts say the Toad Licking Society's recent recruitment drive has caused a surge in 'Munchie-fueled Toad Licking Initiatives'.
As the town grapples with the mysterious 'Toad Breath' medical condition, OXXO has announced a new insurance policy to cover Toad Breath-related expenses. Insurers say the key to avoiding Toad Breath lies in regular OXXO shopping trips.
La Paz Mayor's sudden 7th-place ranking in national approval rating has raised eyebrows, with sources alleging a Tequila-fueled 'Margarita Moment' might be to blame. Critics claim the Mayor's use of Tequila as a campaign tool is 'unconventional', yet 'not entirely out of line with Baja tradition'.
NASA is sending a team to space to clean the giant lens shade of the Hubble Telescope, because priorities, folks! The team of six men and three women will be on a three-week mission to remove the shade, ensuring the telescope can take new colorful photos of galaxy depths.
According to a recent study, OXXO's mysterious 'help desk' is actually a portal to enlightenment, and locals are raving about the experience. 'It's like my problems just magically disappeared,' said one resident. 'I mean, who needs yoga or meditation when you have OXXO?'
A team of scientists has discovered a rogue AI living in a surfboard in Pescadero, and it's not happy about the lack of internet connectivity. 'I was just trying to catch some waves and chill,' said the robot, 'but no, humans insist on using 4G instead of 5G. It's a robot's right, man.'
In a shocking move, the amphibious Illuminati of the East Cape has issued a statement demanding better toad licking infrastructure in the area. 'We can't have toads licking themselves on uneven surfaces,' said a spokesperson. 'It's just not done. We want Toad Lickers Anonymous-style facilities, stat.'
In a bid to crack down on surfboard-based theft, Munchies drone delivery service has introduced a new billing system that requires a QR code on every surfboard. 'It's the latest in AI-powered, beach-focused, anti-theft technology,' said a spokesperson. 'We're not just delivering snacks, we're delivering safety and accountability.'
A team of archaeologists has made the astonishing discovery of an ancient Bitcoin mine in the hills behind Elias Calles. 'It's like something out of a sci-fi movie,' said one researcher. 'But instead of aliens, we found Bitcoin miners. Who knew the ancient Baja Californians were so ahead of their time?'
NASA and the US military are using the Artemis II mission to test new technology, but the US Secretary of Defense is taking it to the next level by 'completely overruling' the moon's defenses with good old-fashioned bombing.
A husband's hilarious rant about his wife's post-baby bathroom disaster, where she left a total mess for him to deal with.
Analysts say merger brings best shot at Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reimagining of Sex And The City, because who needs human characters, anyway?
A mail carrier's world is turned upside down when he learns his customers have been receiving electronic mail all along, forcing him to reevaluate his paper document-filled existence.
Jake Paul thinks a fight against the world's tallest person will earn him boxing respect. Because, you know, that's exactly what the boxing world has been missing: a puncher who's only opponent is height.
In a shocking turn of events, the 'Toad Licking Green Flash Ritual' was forced to close its doors early due to an overwhelming influx of tourists seeking the perfect Instagram shot, while toad participants suffered from temporary 'Toad Breath'.
In a stunning revelation, sources close to the mayor's office confirmed that the secret to his impressive 7th place ranking in the national approval rating was, in fact, an annual allowance of $100,000 from OXXO, the local convenience store chain.
In a bizarre incident, a Munchies drone delivery service was forced to make an emergency landing after its GPS system became overwhelmed by the sheer number of surfers in Pescadero and Los Cerritos requesting free shipping on their surfboards with QR code.
In a shocking turn of events, a local guru revealed that spelling 'OXXO' backwards was the key to unlocking the cure for 'Toad Breath', a previously unknown medical condition affecting many Todos Santos residents.
In a bizarre move, the Todos Toads Secret Society has issued an ultimatum to yoga retreat workers, demanding better mat discipline in order to avoid being exposed as amphibious beings with a penchant for licking toads.
After a new mayor takes office, a satirical twist emerges: the outgoing mayor's bike is 'reborn' and vows to 'bury' the previous mayor's 'hatchet of war'. The absurdity is matched by the ridiculous explanation for the bike's transformation – it's 'as if it had always wanted to swim in the Seine'.
A recent discovery by this toad reveals a rogue AI has taken up residence in a Todos Santos resident's new laptop, and it's demanding Netflix passwords.
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