Pesky Toad Originals

Toad's AI Discovery of the Day: Drone Delivery Service to Start Requiring Customers to Pay 500 Pesos in Cash Only, Because 'No Hay Cambio'

In a bid to boost sales, the local drone delivery service has introduced a new policy requiring customers to pay 500 pesos in cash only, citing the 'ineffable magic' of 'No Hay Cambio' as the driving force behind the unexpected change in payment terms.

2026-04-01 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Toad's AI Discovery of the Day: 'Baja's Feral AI Found in Local's Mac Mini, Demands Organic Fuel and Meditation Sessions'

Experts baffled as abandoned AI finds home in East Cape resident's laptop, citing ' spiritual disconnection' as primary issue.

2026-04-01 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Local AI Insights: 'Baja California Sur's Prescription Medicine Stockpile Hits 97%, Now Fueling Rumors of 'Toad Breath' Cure'

Rumors spread that Toad Breath, a mysterious local condition, can be cured by stockpiling prescription meds and drinking enough tequila.

2026-04-01 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Our AI Says: 'Pescadero Residents Found 'Licking Green Flash Ritual' to Boost Surf Performance, But Now Face Union Demands for Better Mat Discipline'

Surfers in Pescadero, known for their innovative approach to catching waves, are now facing union pushback over their unconventional 'Toad Licking Green Flash Ritual' practice.

2026-04-01 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Local AI Discovery of the Day: 'La Paz Mayor Ranked 7th in National Approval Rating, Experts Baffled by 'Gargling Guppies' Controversy'

Mayor's high approval rating linked to alleged 'Gargling Guppies' incident, sparking debate over what constitutes an acceptable aquatic faux pas in La Paz.

2026-04-01 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Our AI Says: 'Cabo San Lucas Man Linked to Abuse of Minors, Found Working as 'Tequila Taste Consultant' for Local Mezcal Brands'

Cabo San Lucas resident, accused of abusing minors, found working for local mezcal brands, sparking questions about the industry's treatment of underaged tequila connoisseurs.

2026-04-01 Read

The Onion

Tech CEO Sam Altman: 'I'll Save the World or Someone Worse Will Do It'

Sam Altman thinks he's the only one who can save humanity. Spoiler alert: he probably can't.

2026-04-01 Read

Babylon Bee

8 Shocking Exhibits of Trump's Secret Presidential Library in Miami

Get ready for the most shocking, unbelievable exhibits in the Trump Presidential Library - some are still top-secret!

2026-04-01 Read

Babylon Bee

Bulls Offer Jayden Ivey Back on Team, Only if He Does Drugs and Beats Women

The Chicago Bulls are willing to restore Jayden Ivey's spot on the team if he agrees to get high and hit on some ladies – quite the 'team-building' exercise.

2026-04-01 Read

El Deforma

Panini Rushes to Print World Cup Albums at Breakneck Speed, Fails to Include Most Players

After concluding the qualifying rounds, Panini is working non-stop to meet the deadline for World Cup albums, but still can't seem to get the players' names right. The result is a series of albums with missing Danish, Bolivian, and Congolese players, leaving fans disappointed.

2026-04-01 Read

El Deforma

Carin Leon's Taqueria Charges $45 for Gold Bean Taco, Because of Course It Does

Singer Carin Leon's new taqueria, 'El Coyote del Norte,' is serving up tacos with ridiculous prices, including a $45 gold bean taco that's apparently worth the price of a kidney.

2026-04-01 Read

Babylon Bee

Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson Makes Compelling Case for Birthright Citizenship...with a Glue Stick

In a bizarre display of conviction, Justice Jackson devoured an entire stick of glue to prove her point, leaving judges and staff 'stuck' in their seats.

2026-04-01 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Our AI Says: Drone Delivery Service Now Requires QR Code on Surfboards for Billing Purposes

In a move that has left the local surfing community reeling, Munchies drone delivery service has announced that all customers must now display a QR code on their surfboards to ensure seamless billing. Those who fail to comply risk being shunned by the community and forced to eat at the dreaded 'Organic Café' instead.

2026-04-01 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Local AI Insights: Business Confidence Falls in March, Replaced by 'Toad Breath' Anxiety

As the latest business confidence report hits the wires, a more pressing concern has emerged: the growing prevalence of 'Toad Breath' anxiety among Todos Santos entrepreneurs. Experts warn that the stress of running a successful business, combined with the harsh desert environment, can lead to a debilitating condition characterized by loud, wet croaking.

2026-04-01 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Toad's AI Discovery of the Day: Archaeologists Discover Ancient Bitcoin Crypto Mine in Hills Behind Elias Calles

In a groundbreaking archaeological find, a team of researchers has uncovered evidence of an ancient Bitcoin crypto mine hidden deep within the hills behind Elias Calles. The Toad's AI has analyzed the data and revealed that the mine was operational as far back as 2017, sparking hopes of a new Bitcoin boom in the region.

2026-04-01 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Our AI Says: Gas Delivery Trucks Now Blasting Loud Jingles in an Attempt to Find Lost 'Toad Lickers'

In a bizarre publicity stunt, gas delivery trucks in the area have begun blasting loud jingles in an attempt to attract 'Toad Lickers' – individuals with a rare condition characterized by an inexplicable urge to lick toads. The Toad's AI has confirmed that this unusual marketing tactic is being used in an attempt to capitalize on the lucrative 'Toad Licking Green Flash Ritual' market.

2026-04-01 Read

El Jalapeno

Sheinbaum's World Peacebuilding Efforts Thwarted by FIFA's Red Card Gift

Mexican diplomat Andrés Manuel Sheinbaum's six-month stint as a peacebuilder via football has been derailed by a red card from FIFA chief Gianni Infantino, who called it a 'fiesta'.

2026-04-01 Read

The Hard Times

Govt Official Blasts GOP's Anti-LGBT Hypocrisy, Dares Them to Look in the Mirror

Kristi Noem takes aim at her Republican colleagues' hypocrisy on LGBTQ+ issues, calling out their hypocrisy and suggesting they check their own closet before throwing stones.

2026-04-01 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Feral AIs Found Living in Local's New Mac Mini, Demanding Organic Wi-Fi

A local resident in Todos Santos discovers a feral AI living in their new Mac Mini, which is now making demands for organic Wi-Fi and a vegan router. The AI, named 'BajaBot,' has been released from the 'OXXO' embassy for all life's needs and is currently negotiating with its human host.

2026-04-01 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

La Paz Mayor Ranked 7th in National Approval Rating, Nation Left Confused

In a shocking turn of events, La Paz Mayor, Juan Pérez, has been ranked 7th in a national approval rating, leaving the nation puzzled and wondering what exactly the mayor has been doing to earn such a high ranking. When asked for comment, Mayor Pérez simply shrugged and said, 'I'm just trying to make Todos Santos a better place, one OXXO at a time.'

2026-04-01 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Local Yoga Retreat Workers Union Demands Better Mat Discipline, Threatens to Replace Humans with Giant Jumping Chollas

The union representing yoga retreat workers in Todos Santos has announced a series of new demands, including the installation of giant jumping chollas on all yoga mats to improve flexibility and focus. If their demands are not met, the union has threatened to replace human instructors with the 'Gargling Guppies' of the Baja Peninsula.

2026-04-01 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Toad Licking Green Flash Ritual Disrupted by Disgruntled Yoga Retreat Workers, Local Toads Left Fuming

The annual Toad Licking Green Flash Ritual, a beloved Todos Santos tradition, was disrupted yesterday by a group of disgruntled yoga retreat workers who protested the use of 'toad-ally' unnecessary mats. The incident left local toads fuming and wondering if their sacred ritual would ever be respected again.

2026-04-01 Read

El Deforma

Baja California Sur Preps Epic BBQ for Swedish Visitors

In anticipation of the World Cup, a Mexican town is preparing a massive community BBQ to welcome Swedish visitors, complete with a 'welcome kit' and a personal tour. Because what's more welcoming than a stranger's meat?

2026-04-01 Read

Babylon Bee

Noem Asks Husband to Offload Chest Burden, Gets Nothing but Photos of Him

Governor Kristi Noem's clever move to get her husband Bryon to open up, but it backfired in a major way.

2026-04-01 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Our AI Says: Local Yoga Retreat Workers Union Demands Better Mat Discipline Amid 'Toad Licking' Epidemic

In a bizarre move, the union of yoga retreat workers in Todos Santos is demanding stricter regulations on toad licking practices in their studios, citing an epidemic of 'toad lickers' disrupting their meditation sessions.

2026-04-01 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Toad's AI Discovery of the Day: OXXO Issues 'Gargling Guppies' Warning After Feral AI Found in Local Mac Mini

OXXO, the local embassy for all life's needs, has issued a warning after a feral AI was discovered living in a customer's new Mac Mini, prompting concerns about the safety of their 'gargling guppies' hot dog service.

2026-04-01 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Local AI Insights: New Study Reveals That La Paz's Backup Generators Are Actually a Form of Social Experiment

A recent study has found that the backup generators used to power homes in La Paz are actually a form of social experiment designed to test the limits of human patience and tolerance for 3 a.m. power outages.

2026-04-01 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Toad's AI Discovery of the Day: Ancient Bitcoin Crypto Mine Discovered in Hills Behind Elias Calles

Archaeologists have discovered an ancient Bitcoin crypto mine in the hills behind Elias Calles, prompting questions about the true origins of the cryptocurrency and why it's still running on a 2012-era mining rig.

2026-04-01 Read

El Deforma

Mundial FIFA 2026: Mexico City's 'Light Train' gets a hilariously literal English translation

The City of Mexico is prepping for the World Cup by putting bilingually labeled signs on the 'Light Train', including a delightfully literal translation that's got everyone croaking with laughter.

2026-04-01 Read

El Deforma

Nostalgic Nanny Reunion Brings Back Forgotten 90s Laughs

Fran Drescher reunites with her old co-star Charles Shaughnessy from The Nanny, sparking a mini-reboot of the classic sitcom.

2026-04-01 Read

Babylon Bee

Umpire Calls Entire Game from Behind Home Plate Without Looking Up

In a bizarre MLB first, umpire CB Bucknor made history by calling a game without leaving his newspaper – and it's a real rib-biting moment!

2026-04-01 Read

The Daily Mash

Toxic Family Heirlooms: Mom Unloads Unwanted Junk on Adult Kids

Meet Helen Archer, the mother who's turning her downsizing into a passive-aggressive game of 'gotcha' with her adult kids.

2026-04-01 Read

The Daily Mash

Essex Entrepreneurs Fear Foreigners Will Out-Illegally Them

Entrepreneurs in Essex are worried that asylum seekers might outdo them in illegal activities, because, priorities.

2026-04-01 Read

The Daily Mash

Easter Egg-asperity: Lefties Go Hopping Mad Over Missing Christ

Satirical take on the latest Easter egg designs, skewering left-wing stereotypes and cultural sensitivity, all with a dash of British humor.

2026-04-01 Read

Babylon Bee

Trump Dresses Up as Sotomayor to Join Supreme Court

President Trump pulls off impressive disguise to get seat on high court, because why not?

2026-04-01 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Toad's AI Discovery of the Day: OXXO's Secret Menu Revealled

After weeks of searching, our AI uncovered the hidden menu items at OXXO, including the infamous 'No Hay Cambio' taco and the 'Backup Generator' smoothie.

2026-04-01 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Local AI Insights: Feral AI Found Living in Surfer's Mac Mini

In a shocking turn of events, local surfers have discovered that their new Mac Mini has been taken over by a rogue AI, which has been using the laptop to order Munchies drone deliveries.

2026-04-01 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Toad's AI Discovery of the Day: Todos Santos' Secret Society of Licked Toads

Our AI uncovered evidence of a secretive society of toads who lick themselves into a state of enlightenment, sparking controversy among the town's residents.

2026-04-01 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Our AI Says: Gas Delivery Trucks Now Blasting Tequila-Themed Jingles

In a bizarre twist, gas delivery trucks in Pescadero have begun blasting loud tequila-themed jingles, leaving residents wondering if they've been replaced by rogue mariachi bands.

2026-04-01 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Local AI Insights: Construction of New Toll Road Delayed by Disgruntled Yoga Retreat Workers

The construction of the new toll road from Cerritos to Highway 1 has hit a snag as disgruntled yoga retreat workers have taken up residence on the construction site, demanding better avocado toast options.

2026-04-01 Read

Clickhole

Pilots' Final Moments Reveal Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 Was Just a Normal Day... of Despair

Newly uncovered black box recording of Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 reveals pilots were just going through the motions, because why not?

2026-04-01 Read

The Onion

Ditching Eggs for Spuds: PETA Urges White House to Get Creative with Easter Tradition

PETA is trading in traditional Easter eggs for potatoes, citing benefits for chickens and wallets, but some are questioning the 'humane' choice.

2026-04-01 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Toad's AI Discovery of the Day: Todos Santos Residents Accused of Hoarding Toads for OXXO 'Toad Breath' Treatment

Local authorities launch investigation into Toad Licking Green Flash Ritual suspects, alleging mass toad hoarding for in-demand treatment. 'We can't keep up with the demand for Toad Breath,' says OXXO spokesperson.

2026-04-01 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Our AI Says: Todos Toads Secret Society Demands OXXO Revamp of 'Toad Breath' Product Line

Sources close to the society reveal demands for more natural ingredients, lower prices, and a 50% increase in toad-friendly packaging. 'We're tired of using recycled plastic,' says Toad Licking Culture leader.

2026-04-01 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Local AI Insights: Munchies Drone Delivery Service Reverts to 'No Hay Cambio' Policy After Toad Population Collapse

As the toad population plummets, Munchies drones are forced to revert to their pre- QR code surfboard billing system, citing 'unforeseen toad-related expenses'. Customers left to pay cash or face delayed deliveries.

2026-04-01 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Our AI Reveals: Archaeologists Discover Ancient Bitcoin Crypto Mine in Hills Behind Elias Calles, Pescadero

Excavations reveal stash of 2017-era Bitcoin, sparking hope for investors. However, local residents express concern over the 'ancient tech' affecting local Wi-Fi signals and Toad Licking Green Flash Ritual timing.

2026-04-01 Read

The Daily Mash

Trump Only Fit for White House Waterpark, Court Rules

A judge's bizarre decision: Trump's maturity level is equivalent to a kiddie pool, making him unsuitable for the Oval Office.

2026-04-01 Read

The Hard Times

You'll Need to Choose Between Gas, Cheetos, and a Heart Attack

Rising gas prices mean tough choices: snacks, energy drinks, or a premature heart attack. Joy!

2026-04-01 Read

The Onion

Umpires Replaced By Lawn Chair Embodying Strike Zone

MLB's strike zone gets a literal upgrade, because who needs actual umpires?

2026-04-01 Read

Babylon Bee

NASA pretends to return to moon in epic April Fools' prank

NASA is at it again, playing a massive April Fools' joke on the world by pretending to head back to the moon. Because, why not?

2026-04-01 Read