Pesky Toad Originals

Our AI Says: OXXO Apologizes for 'Life-Changing' Hot Dog Voucher Scam

OXXO issued a statement yesterday acknowledging that its recent hot dog voucher campaign, promising 'life-changing' meals to customers, was actually just a scam to get people to switch to their prepaid phone plan. The vouchers, which were supposed to cover up to three months of phone service, were actually just a clever ruse to get people to buy more OXXO-branded merchandise.

2026-03-24 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Toad's AI Discovery of the Day: Giant Jumping Chollas Now Mandatory for BCS Commuters

In a bizarre move, the Baja California Sur government has announced that all commuters must now navigate the treacherous roads to work with a giant jumping cholla by their side. The new rule, which is set to take effect next Monday, is intended to 'increase road safety' and 'improve air quality'.

2026-03-24 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Local AI Insights: La Paz Bus Driver Arrested for Using Buses as 'Mobile Tequila Bar'

The Aquila bus driver was taken into custody yesterday after a passenger reported that the driver had been serving tequila shots to passengers during the morning commute. The driver claimed that he had been 'just trying to bring a little joy to the people of La Paz'.

2026-03-24 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Our AI Says: New Study Reveals that Pescadero's Expensive Organic Produce is Actually Just Dirt with a Few Sprouts on Top

A team of researchers from the University of Baja California Sur has published a study revealing that Pescadero's famous organic produce is actually just dirt with a few sprouts on top. The study's findings, which were published in a leading scientific journal, have left the town's farmers and health enthusiasts reeling.

2026-03-24 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Toad's AI Discovery of the Day: Local Entrepreneur Offers 'No Change' Refund for $500 Worth of Organic Produce

In a bold move, local entrepreneur Carlos Hernandez has announced that he will now offer a 'no change' refund for customers who buy $500 worth of organic produce at his store. The promotion, which is set to start next week, is intended to 'encourage sustainable shopping habits' and 'reduce waste' in the community.

2026-03-24 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Toad's AI Discovery of the Day: OXXO Announces Plans to Expand Services to include Haircuts, Eyelash Applications, and Disputes Mediation

In a bold move to solidify its position as the go-to destination for all life's needs, OXXO has announced plans to expand its services to include haircuts, eyelash applications, and dispute mediation. Locals are both excited and terrified by the prospect of having OXXO's friendly staff mediating their petty squabbles over parking spots.

2026-03-24 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Our AI Says: BCS Government Launches New Initiative to Reduce Cows on Highway, Only to Realize Cows Were Actually on Highway to Begin With

In a bizarre move, the BCS government has launched an initiative to reduce the number of cows on the highway, only to realize that cows were actually on the highway to begin with. The government is now offering discounts on tolls to all cows who can prove they were on the highway before the initiative was launched.

2026-03-24 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Local AI Insights: Rare Albino Blue Whale Spotted in Baja Waters, Immediately Claimed by Wealthy Yacht Owner Who Wasn't Even Fishing

A rare albino blue whale was spotted in Baja waters yesterday, but the excitement was short-lived as the whale was immediately claimed by a wealthy yacht owner who wasn't even fishing at the time. The owner, who has a penchant for naming his boats after exotic locations, has renamed his yacht 'Bahia Azul' and is now offering whale-watching tours to tourists.

2026-03-24 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Toad's AI Discovery of the Day: Gas Delivery Trucks Now Blasting Disco Music to 'Boost Customer Experience'

In an effort to boost customer experience, gas delivery trucks in Pescadero have started blasting disco music at ear-shattering decibels. Locals are both annoyed and impressed by the trucks' ability to get the party started, but are concerned about the potential effects on their blood pressure.

2026-03-24 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Our AI Says: BCS Congress Passes 40-Hour Workweek Reform, Immediately Repeals It Due to 'Lack of Funding for Unlimited Tequila Breaks'

In a shocking move, the BCS Congress passed a 40-hour workweek reform, only to immediately repeal it due to a lack of funding for unlimited tequila breaks. The reform was championed by the local tequila industry, but was ultimately deemed too expensive to implement.

2026-03-24 Read

The Onion

Mueller Dead at 81, Trump Says 'Good Riddance' to Probe

Former FBI director Robert Mueller has died at 81, prompting a delightfully deadpan response from President Trump: 'Good, I'm glad he's dead.' The Onion's take on a rather 'unexpected' tribute to the special counsel.

2026-03-24 Read

Babylon Bee

Cornhole Champ Says Another Quad Amputee Was the Actual Shooter

A quadruple amputee cornhole champion claims a different quad amputee was the real perpetrator, because identity is a real challenge when you're missing four limbs.

2026-03-24 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Toad's AI Discovery of the Day: OXXO Embargo Imposes Unusual Restrictions on Hot Dog Purchases

OXXO officials in Todos Santos have inexplicably begun rationing hot dog sales, citing 'increased demand for existential crises'.

2026-03-24 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Local AI Insights: Gas Delivery Trucks Suddenly Develop Sentience, Demand Better Jingles

A recent series of bizarre incidents has left residents of Pescadero wondering if their gas delivery trucks have developed a taste for 80s rock music.

2026-03-24 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Our AI Says: Todos Santos Council Votes to Replace Backup Generators with 'Mystical Vibes'

In a shocking move, the Todos Santos council has decided to phase out backup generators in favor of 'mystical vibes', citing 'concerns about the spiritual well-being of tourists'.

2026-03-24 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Toad's AI Alert: 'Green Flash' Debates Rage as Residents Disagree on Its Existence

A heated debate has erupted in Todos Santos over the existence of the 'Green Flash', with some residents claiming to have seen it and others insisting it's just a 'fashion trend'.

2026-03-24 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Local AI Insights: Baja California Sur Governor Announces Plan to Replace Tequila with Mezcal in Official Salutations

In a surprise move, the BCS governor has announced plans to replace 'Saludos' with 'Saluditos' in official government communications, citing 'the need for a more nuanced mezcal culture'.

2026-03-24 Read

Babylon Bee

Gain 20 Pounds for Half the Cost of a Weighted Vest

Tired of breaking the bank on gym gear? Just eat a whole pizza by yourself!

2026-03-24 Read

Babylon Bee

Assisted Living Scam Exposed in D.C., Because What's a Little Elderly Exploitation?

In a shocking turn of events, a massive fraud ring was uncovered at a DC old folks' home, because who needs dignity when you can have a good scam?

2026-03-24 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Toad's AI Discovery of the Day: 'Baja's Overcrowded Parks Spark Rare Case of Desert Hermitism'

Due to increased visitation, many BCS residents are spontaneously developing hermit tendencies, causing concerns among locals and national parks authorities. 'I just wanted to enjoy the views without 12 strangers following me,' said one bewildered hiker.

2026-03-24 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Local AI Insights: 'Todos Santos Residents Baffled by Unexpected Urgency to Organize Local Farmers' Market'

Despite being a popular tourist destination, the small town of Todos Santos has seen a surge in residents organizing impromptu farmers' markets, leaving many scratching their heads. 'I just wanted to sell my avocados, not start a social movement,' said a bewildered local farmer.

2026-03-24 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Our AI Says: 'Baja California Sur's Demented Gas Trucks Now Playing 24/7 Tequila-Fueled Mariachi Music'

The OXXO-gas delivery trucks that terrorize the region's residents have upgraded their jingles to a 24/7 tequila-fueled mariachi extravaganza, leaving locals questioning their sanity. 'I'm not sure which is more disturbing, the music or the fact that the gas trucks are now offering tequila tastings,' said a shaken resident.

2026-03-24 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Toad's AI Discovery of the Day: 'La Paz's Aquila Bus Network Overhauled to Feature More Wi-Fi and Fewer Actual Routes'

In a bizarre move, the Aquila bus network has been rebranded as a 'Wi-Fi-enabled adventure experience' with routes that seem to change daily. 'I was supposed to get to Cabo, but now I'm on a merry-go-round of bus transfers,' said a frustrated passenger.

2026-03-24 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Local AI Insights: 'Todos Santos Residents Debate Whether the 'Green Flash' Was Actually a Mirage or Just Their Anxiety'

The eternal debate among expats in Todos Santos has reached new heights, with some claiming to have seen the elusive 'Green Flash' and others insisting it was just their anxiety playing tricks on them. 'I'm pretty sure I saw it, but my mind is probably just trying to avoid my student loans,' said a resident.

2026-03-24 Read

Babylon Bee

Umpires Replaced with Cardboard Cutouts in MLB's Latest Gamble

Major League Baseball is ditching human umpires for cardboard cutouts – because who needs actual humans, anyway?

2026-03-24 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Toad's AI Discovery of the Day: Local Hot Dog Cart to Offer 'Deluxe' Option: Extra Sprouts for 500 Pesos

A popular hot dog cart in Todos Santos has introduced a new 'deluxe' option: extra sprouts for 500 pesos. The cart's owner claims that the extra sprouts have 'medicinal benefits' and will 'change your life'.

2026-03-24 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Local AI Insights: BCS Council Votes to Rename OXXO to 'XOXO' to Boost Morale

In a surprise move, the BCS council has decided to rebrand OXXO, the official embassy for all life's needs, as 'XOXO' to improve worker satisfaction. The new logo features a giant heart with a gas station in the center.

2026-03-24 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Toad's AI Discovery of the Day: 'No Hay Cambio' Restaurant Refuses to Accept 500-Pesos Bill

A popular organic cafe in Todos Santos refused to accept a 500-pesos bill, citing the local motto 'no hay cambio' as a form of spiritual protest. The owner insisted on accepting only cash with a 10% tip for 'good vibes'.

2026-03-24 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Our AI Says: BCS Bus 'Aquila' Rebranded as 'Aquila's Therapy Session' to Reduce Aggression

The popular Aqua bus service in Pescadero has undergone a rebranding to 'Aquila's Therapy Session' in an effort to reduce driver aggression. The new branding features a calming phrase 'You are welcome' in Spanish.

2026-03-24 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Local AI Insights: Rare Albino Blue Whale Spotted in Cabo, Immediately Sold to Wealthy Tourist for $1M

A rare albino blue whale was spotted in Baja waters, but instead of being protected, it was sold to a wealthy tourist for $1 million. The whale was seen happily swimming in a private pool at the tourist's beachfront mansion.

2026-03-24 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

OXXO Announces 'No Hay Cambio' Policy for All Transactions, Except for Gas and Hot Dogs

OXXO has implemented a new policy that requires all transactions to be settled with exact change, except for gas and questionable hot dog purchases. 'We're committed to supporting our customers' questionable life choices,' said an OXXO spokesperson. 'But let's be real, who needs change when you can have a decent hot dog?'

2026-03-24 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Gas Delivery Trucks Reveal Plan to Replace Humans with AI-Powered Ice Cream Salespeople

In a shocking move, the gas delivery trucks of Baja California Sur have announced plans to replace their human drivers with AI-powered salespeople. 'We're tired of being stuck on these dusty roads all day,' said a truck spokesperson. 'Now we can sell ice cream to tourists while they're stuck in traffic.'

2026-03-24 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Local Artists Baffled by 'Green Flash' Debate, Demand More Wine and Cheese

A heated debate has erupted among expats in Todos Santos over the existence of the 'Green Flash.' In a surprising twist, local artists have come out in support of the debate, citing a lack of creative stimulation in the community. 'We need more wine and cheese to discuss the finer points of sunset optics,' said one artist. 'This debate is just a distraction from the real issue: where's the good wine?'

2026-03-24 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Cerritos Surfers Suffer Bizarre Sudden Disappearance Due to 'Giant Jumping Cholla Overload'

A series of bizarre incidents has left surfers in Cerritos stunned and confused. It appears that a sudden influx of giant jumping chollas has caused surfers to inexplicably vanish into thin air. 'It's like they just disappeared into the desert,' said one surfer. 'I'm starting to think it's not the waves, it's the chollas.'

2026-03-24 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Pescadero Council Unveils New 'Aquila' Bus Route, Featuring 17 Stops and 17 More Excuses for Being Late

In a bold move, the Pescadero council has announced a new 'Aquila' bus route, featuring 17 stops and 17 more excuses for being late. 'We're committed to providing our citizens with the most inconvenient transportation options possible,' said a council spokesperson. 'Because what's a beach town without a little frustration and delay?'

2026-03-24 Read

El Deforma

Revendedores of False Tickets Sue PROFECO for 'Fraud' After Ronaldo No-Show

After Cristiano Ronaldo cancels his Mexico appearance, ticket sellers claim the government misled them with false advertising and are now suing the PROFECO for 'fraud'. They're having a field day, claiming the experience is like buying a Simpsons action figure that's broken and then denying it when someone asks about it.

2026-03-24 Read

Babylon Bee

Toad-ally hooked: Man confesses to addiction after betting on women's hoops

A sports fan's downward spiral into gambler-land is triggered by a women's basketball game. Yikes!

2026-03-24 Read

El Deforma

Christian Nodal's violinist wife allegedly left a cryptic message before departing Mexico, leaving fans to decode her meaning

Esmeralda Camacho, Christian Nodal's ex-violinist wife, left a mysterious message after leaving Mexico, sparking speculation among fans about her departure and potential reasons behind it.

2026-03-24 Read

El Deforma

Moana Live-Action Crossover with Bob Sponge? No, Disney Says No Way

Disney set the record straight: the live-action Moana won't be a Bob Sponge crossover. Fans, however, are still convinced it's happening, and their theories are, um, 'interesting'.

2026-03-24 Read

Babylon Bee

TSA Closes, Chick-Fil-A Takes Over: Wait Times Vanish Instantly

In a bizarre turn of events, Chick-fil-A employees have taken over TSA checkpoints, eradicating wait times for anxious travelers. It's a win for frazzled flyers, and a mystery for everyone else.

2026-03-24 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Toad's AI Discovery of the Day: Todos Santos Council Implements New 'No Tolerance for Soul Searching' Ordinance

In a bold move to boost local economy, Todos Santos council introduces strict new rules penalizing expats for excessive introspection, forcing them to spend money on overpriced acai bowls instead.

2026-03-24 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Local AI Insights: La Paz Mayor Announces Plan to Replace Bureaucratic Red Tape with 'Inspirational Quote Wall'

In an effort to boost city's morale, La Paz mayor unveils plan to install inspirational quote wall in city hall, promising to 'motivate' citizens to 'just go with the flow, man'.

2026-03-24 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Our AI Says: Gas Delivery Trucks in BCS to Get Mandatory 'Wellness Check' Before Each Delivery

In a bizarre move to promote 'self-care', BCS authorities announce that all gas delivery trucks must undergo regular 'wellness checks' to ensure they're 'blasting the right tunes' and 'wearing their favorite colors' before embarking on each delivery route.

2026-03-24 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Toad's AI Discovery of the Day: BCS Congress Approves Law Mandating All Citizens Carry 'Emotional Support Cholla' at All Times

In a surprise move, BCS Congress passes legislation requiring all citizens to carry a designated 'emotional support cholla' at all times, citing growing concerns about 'cholla-induced anxiety' in the community.

2026-03-24 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Local AI Insights: Pescadero Town Council Approves New Ordinance Requiring All Residents to Greet Each Other with ' Om Mani Padme Hum' Upon Sight

In an effort to promote unity and spiritual growth, Pescadero town council passes new ordinance requiring all residents to greet each other with the ancient Buddhist mantra 'Om Mani Padme Hum' upon sight, citing growing concerns about 'lacking good vibes' in the community.

2026-03-24 Read

El Deforma

Mexico's Water Project Goes Dry, Literally

A Coahuila mayor's water project promises much but delivers little, leaving residents dry and amused

2026-03-24 Read

Babylon Bee

The Rock Scores $8 Wig from Spirit Halloween to Save $150M on Moana Remake

Disney's live-action Moana remake saved big on its budget by hooking Dwayne Johnson up with a Spirit Halloween wig for $8 – because who needs fancy CGI when you can just give The Rock some thrift store flair?

2026-03-24 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

La Paz Residents Suddenly Regain Ability to Use Wi-Fi Without Losing Mind

After months of slow internet, residents of La Paz can now enjoy 5G speeds without succumbing to existential dread.

2026-03-24 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

OXXO Launches New 'Hot Dog of the Month' Club, Results Mixed

The popular convenience store chain has started a subscription service featuring exotic hot dog toppings, but some customers are questioning the life choices.

2026-03-24 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Gas Delivery Trucks Found to be Secretly Playing 'Who Let the Dogs Out' on Repeat

Residents of Pescadero and Los Cerritos are both confused and entertained by the sudden appearance of loud, jingly music emanating from gas delivery trucks.

2026-03-24 Read