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humor The Onion 2026-06-10

Unbreakable Sports Records Include Pigeon Annihilation and Jockey Consumption

Forget home runs and touchdowns, the real unbreakable records involve a pitcher exploding pigeons, a horse devouring jockeys, and a tennis match lasting 400 years thanks to a spectator with a time dilator. These are the feats that truly stand the test of time, or at least make you question it.

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