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humor The Hard Times 2026-06-06

Warner Bros. Axes Classics for Profit; Casablanca Now Too Emotionally Profitable, Apparently.

In a move that shocked absolutely no one who's paid attention to Hollywood lately, Warner Bros. has decided some classic films are just too darn valuable. Apparently, things like 'Casablanca' and 'The Exorcist' are being axed for not aligning with quarterly earnings and shareholder confidence. Who knew timeless art could be such a fiscal burden?

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