God Upgrades Afterlife Experience with X2 Speed Option to Skip Boring Bits
In a major update, the Big Guy upstairs has finally listened to our complaints and will now allow souls to fast-forward through their boring life moments before death. Apparently, fifty years of uneventful existence is too much for even the most patient departed, so now you can speed-run your memories like a TikTok video. Premium options include commentary from sports announcers or a Hans Zimmer soundtrack.