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humor The Daily Mash 2026-05-15

Heist Mastermind's Biggest Concern: Does the Loot Come with a Free Holdall?

After successfully liberating £2 million in cash, a criminal mastermind is more preoccupied with the etiquette of keeping the duffel bag than with actual prison time. He worries about brand loyalty and fears arriving at his getaway vehicle with a less-than-intimidating Waitrose shopping bag.

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