Looks like the American populace just had its priorities rearranged, all because of a particularly prodigious backside. Apparently, national unity is now directly correlated with visible glutes.

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<p>WASHINGTON—Lowering their sunglasses for a better look at the massive honkin’ caboose, the entire U.S. populace was reportedly enthralled Friday by an adult man with a huge, juicy ass. “That middle-aged man has an absolute bakery back there,” said Harlan Davis, 33, echoing the sentiments of 340 million Americans who could not look away from [&#8230;]</p> <p>The post <a href="https://theonion.com/nation-enthralled-by-adult-man-with-huge-juicy-ass/">Nation Enthralled By Adult Man With Huge Juic...