Apparently, doing well at a dive bar is an existential crisis. The locals are genuinely upset that the joint has achieved basic financial stability and maybe, just maybe, clean toilets.

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<p>COLUMBIA, MO—Growing increasingly irate that the new customer base had actually made the place profitable, regulars of local dive bar The Drunken Rooster were reportedly upset Friday after the business had become popular enough to be financially solvent. “This place used to be cool and underground, man. Now they have so many people in here [&#8230;]</p> <p>The post <a href="https://theonion.com/regulars-angry-dive-bar-now-popular-enough-to-be-financially-solvent/">Regulars Angry Dive Bar Now ...