The former president wept dramatically while solemnly reading the Arby’s menu to convince Americans that beef cheddar is the only path to national happiness.

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<p>WASHINGTON—Bowing his head as he solemnly recited the fast food offerings, President Donald Trump conducted a marathon reading of the Arby’s menu Thursday in an effort to appeal to the nation’s meat lovers. “French Dip Royale, Classic Beef ’N Cheddar, Double Beef ’N Cheddar, Half Pound Beef ’N Cheddar—that&#8217;s from the Arby’s slow roasted beef [&#8230;]</p> <p>The post <a href="https://theonion.com/trump-conducts-marathon-reading-of-arbys-menu-in-appeal-to-meat-lovers/">Trump Conducts Mar...