This poor legume is overwhelmed by the immense pressure to become sauces, oils, and powders. It just wants the dignity of being a perfectly normal, unmashed soybean.

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<p>CARMI, IL—Expressing anxiety over the immense pressure it faced to become various food products, a local legume confided to reporters Tuesday that it wished it could just be a soybean and have that be enough. “I don’t want to be a sauce, I don’t want to be an oil, I don’t want to be tofu [&#8230;]</p> <p>The post <a href="https://theonion.com/soybean-wishes-it-could-just-be-a-soybean-and-have-that-be-enough/">Soybean Wishes It Could Just Be A Soybean And Have That Be Enough</a> appeared first...