Another wellness miracle promises eternal youth—but turns out the secret ingredient is just high-grade cocaine. Don't worry, those pesky lifestyle blogs didn't tell us that.

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<img src="https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/69e2864f1560a69e2864f1560b.jpg" style="width: 100%;" width="400" /><p>Are you entering middle age and finding that you just don't have the energy you used to? Do you wish you could regain your youthful vigor, but haven't found anything that works?</p>