This $1200, floating Roomba is a supposedly high-tech robotic pool vacuum promising to scrub every nooks and cranny, including the dreaded waterline. Every new expat thinks that operating a cordless, wall-climbing, infrared-sensing cleaner is the requisite signifier of 'sustainable, elevated taste' in Pescadero. Owning it signals your spiritual superiority—you don't *labor* over your maintenance; you simply *manage* it, thus elevating your socioeconomic profile. However, when the inevitable sudden dust devil hits, it will confuse the sensors and float uselessly into the ocean, reminding you that true luxury is simply a functioning garden hose.