Andrew Tesser admits that the lure of professional success caused him to sideline his vital relationship with cocktail hour. Turns out, some corner offices don't account for missed gin sodas.

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<p>WATERBURY, CT—Admitting his career had come between him and what mattered most, local man Andrew Tesser confirmed Thursday that mounting work obligations had caused him to seriously neglect his relationship with alcohol. “I thought I had it under control, but then I got promoted, and suddenly I was skipping every happy hour to stay late on [&#8230;]</p> <p>The post <a href="https://theonion.com/increased-work-commitments-causing-man-to-neglect-alcohol/">Increased Work Commitments Causing Man ...