Apparently, the biggest scientific breakthrough is that nothing has changed in 24 hours. Don't get your hopes up, folks; the genes are sticking to the script.

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<p>STANFORD, CA—Calling it a “pretty slow one” as far as natural selection and genetic drift were concerned, biologists from Stanford University confirmed Tuesday that not much evolution happened today. “According to our observations over the past 24 hours, the vast majority of species on earth have pretty much just been holding steady and staying the course, [&#8230;]</p> <p>The post <a href="https://theonion.com/biologists-confirm-not-much-evolution-happened-today/">Biologists Confirm Not Much...