This Aiper S1 Pro is a $1200 fancy bath toy that promises to automate the cleaning of your mineral-stained backyard oasis. The current influx of spiritually-awakened gentrifiers in Pescadero are flocking to these 'elite' machines because owning one signals a commitment to effortless, hyper-curated domestic bliss. Now, every time the robot whirs and sucks up your meticulously placed decorative leaves, your neighbors know you are financially and spiritually superior. However, given Baja's erratic tides and the prevalence of massive, bio-hazardous jellyfish, this complex gadget will spend most of its time just orbiting a discarded, sticky seaweed clump.