A concerned couple believes new parenthood might interrupt their essential ritual of silent, deeply satisfying phone-staring. The stakes are high, people.

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<img src="https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/69dfd0432168869dfd04321689.jpg" style="width: 100%;" width="400" /><p>AUSTIN, TX — Local couple Tyler and Madison Hansen expressed grave concerns this week that having a baby might significantly disrupt the many hours a day they currently spend sitting three inches apart on the sofa staring at their respective iPhones in total silence.</p>