Apparently, the FDA thinks that if you keep soaking your kids in weird lab chemicals, they might spontaneously develop tentacles or just breathe fire. Don't worry if they puddle—that's just normal.

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<p>SILVER SPRING, MD—Revealing plans to lift all unnecessary regulations surrounding the use of lab-developed amino acid chains, the Food and Drug Administration announced Tuesday that it had loosened restrictions on dousing children with synthetic peptides until something happens. “If you dunk your kids in enough artificial peptides, something cool will eventually take place,” said agency [&#8230;]</p> <p>The post <a href="https://theonion.com/fda-loosens-restrictions-on-dousing-children-with-s...