Turns out modern warfare needs more rhythm than ballistic plating. The military confirms that high waists and jazzy blazers are now mandatory for survival.

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<p>WASHINGTON—Calling the snazzy battle garments the most substantial advancement in boogie-woogie warfare in 85 years, Pentagon officials confirmed Friday that development on the U.S. military’s highly specialized tactical zoot suit had been completed. “These combat zoot suits with high waists and oversized jackets are key to keeping our troops safe and jazzy on the battlefield,” said [&#8230;]</p> <p>The post <a href="https://theonion.com/pentagon-develops-tactical-zoot-suit/">Pentagon Develop...