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humor The Onion 2026-10-26

Billionaires Buy Luxury Bunkers to Ensure They Die in Comfort During the Apocalypse

Because heaven forbid the end of the world happens without a private gym and a meditation room. While the rest of us are considering the closet-and-granola-bar strategy, the ultra-wealthy are just paying to be the most pampered people in the inevitable nuclear wasteland.

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