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humor The Onion 2026-09-24

Xi Jinping Proud of Trump for Finally Mastering His First 100 English Words

Global diplomacy reaches new heights as Xi Jinping pats Trump on the back for managing to string together rudimentary sentences. It’s truly a miracle of modern education that Trump can now speak enough broken English to be blissfully unaware of the Chinese delegation mocking him right in his face.

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