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humor The Onion 2026-07-16

Military to Test Troops' Testosterone: 'Bad News for the 82nd Eunuch Division!'

The U.S. Military is now testing testosterone levels, sparking witty commentary from civilian experts. Apparently, hormone therapy might be the new PT, and some are suggesting hair transplants and buccal fat removal as logical next steps. Meanwhile, 'mandatory stool tests for mailmen' remain a pipe dream.

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